The best damn chocolate in the galaxy! (Spoiler Heavy)

(A REVIEW)

Coming out of the movie theatre, my mind was still whirling with what I had just seen. I had decided to go and watch it with a bunch of mates and once it was done, we were all hyped up like little children on Christmas eve. Star Wars is back baby, but this time it's personal! Thus, as little children would do, we quickly raided the nearby pub for our post film debrief. 

The air was thick with the smell of alcohol, strange foreign music was playing through the incomprehensible chatter of the inabriated patrons. Weaving through the crowd gingerly, I found our little nook at the end of the pub, keeping my cherised beer safe from steely eyed drunks. 

I realized that the film was so enjoyable, i was suddenly living it. Sitting down, we discussed for the next four hours about Star Wars and it was awesome. Star Wars is back baby.

So, before I begin, SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE! Watch it, then come back here and read on. Trust me, you won't be dissapointed. 

THE PLOT

Going into the movie, I had a few suspicions on what it was going to be about, and unfortunately had a few big things be spoiled for me by shameless media idiots. Yet, the plot was completely unknown to me. So it came as a pleasent surprise. It wasn't wild or different, it actually followed a by the books Hero's Journey so much that the writer in me cringed just a little tiny bit. Good guys trying to find Luke, but so are the bad guys, unrelated teen hero gets thrown in the mix, has a call to adventure, declines, something bad happens, rises to the occasion, bad thing happens, licks his/her wounds rises again, mentor dies, finds his/inner inner strength and is victorious. With the usual tropes added of course. So basically the plot to A New Hope. Or Eragon, or Tron, or Harry Potter, or Hunger Games, or any other movie. Sure, J.J Abrams played it safe. But that is a good thing. Round one you conserve your energy, learn your opponents moves, reactions, weaknesses, a few jabs here and there, then near the end of the first bell, try for a knockout, so that it'll keep your opponent guessing.

I guess movie making is like cooking and boxing! 

(I can see a reality show in there somewhere)

You will see alot of familiar things, a lot of nostalgia and links to previous movies. But you are also propelled forward to a new strife. A new galaxy. A new Hope? Damn... I'm getting all deep here. 

THE CAST

Holy crap people, they really cast this movie well. Everyone was perfect for their roles. Rey is a great female protagonist, who takes no shit from anybody. With a mysterious past, she is still trying to look for answers and her place in the galaxy. Finn is a great lead as well. A boy who was given all the answers and discovers that they were all lies and now is lost again, finding solace in an equally lost individual. Poe HAS found his place in the galaxy and excels at it. He is cool, funny, suave and enigmatic. Han, Chewie, Leia all know what their place should be in the galaxy and are doing their best to live up to it, and once again show that they still have what it takes. Performance or otherwise. Hux is a Nazi, Phasma is also, played exceptionally well. (although Phasma should have been let out to breathe more, she was seriously under used) then comes Kylo... Whoo boy....

Kylo Ren. Perfectly played by Adam Driver, is the entitled little shit that he has to be. An emotionally wrecked person, who has almost no idea who or what he should be. He is the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia! The grandson of Darth Vader! Holy shit, how can one live up to that? So it seems like he has gone the route of the school shooter. Not in the manner that he was teased or something. Actually, we don't know. He was part of Lukes jedi training afterall. Maybe the girl he asked out to the prom rejected him to go out with a flyboy, or maybe some other jedi's gave him force wedgies because he was Luke's nephew. So you have this really sympathetic villain with anger issues that you can totally recognize. You kinda even hope that he will see the error of his ways. But then... Then he meets his dad. And that moment got me. It was heart breaking, sad, beautiful, and fueled the rest of the movie. Shit just got real. 

A word on dialogue. It was great! Snappy, funny, to the point and actually seemed real! It wasn't wooden or stunted at all. 

But most importantly, chemistry. MY GOD the chemistry. EVERYONE worked great with each other. You could see the sheer joy everyone had. Even Harrison Ford seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself. The banter was excelent. Especially between Rey and Finn. But also between Poe and Finn. It just seemed so real and solid. These people were giving it everything they got. Even the stormtroopers had some great chemistry. They weren't robots, they reacted to everything and each other. Not to mention having some great moments themselves. 

Finally, BB8. Sorry R2, your time is up. As my friend said, he is now the new Wall-E. This little spheroid bastard will be the very reason so many parents are going to be bankrupt this year. He is cute, funny, emotional and collectible! 

THE TECHNICAL BITS

This is one hell of a visual movie! You have wide expanses, beautiful vistas and insane ammounts of detail. Everything looks real, worn and lived in. What makes this movie a bit different from the prequels is its reliance to real world sets and effects. Sure there is CGI, but it looks real! There are space battles, but they are amazing not because the're is so much of it, but because there is the right ammount of it. Even when the Starkiller does it's thing, it is just shown for a bit. Not glorified.

J.J. Abrams did his homework and pulled out all the stops. He controlled his lens flares and really let the scenes take center stage. 

The sound design was great too, everything sounded heavy and well oiled. Things sounded like the worked. And finally the score. It was great, yet not exceptional. Everyone has their own theme and there is some great music. But we've all heard the same things so often it really didn't seem like that much was added. To be brutally honest, William's best and most audacious Star Wars album still has to be Revenge of the Sith. That has some powerful stuff in it. 

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY? SPEAK YOU FOOL!

This movie is amazing. It's incredible. It's frikking Star Wars, man! But of course it is! I wasn't expecting this to be life changing. I was expecting it to be the best damn entertainment movie of the year, and oooh boy it is. You'll laugh, you'll cry. You'll kiss your fifteen bucks good bye. Then you'll do it all over again. I know I will. 

Waiting for Star Wars by Samuel Beckett

I'm pretty sure most of the people who are reading this blog (my friends by chance) are looking forward to the new Star Wars film. I know I am! I mean look at the damn trailer!

"You want this... Don't you?"

However, alongside everyone's genuine excitement hides a lingering fear. Will this be the Star Wars I am looking for? For some of us it will, perhaps even most of us. I am optimistic. But there will always be the people who will go and see the film and declare it shit. That will be a totally fair opinnion to have. (and I am only talking about the people who have actually seen the film, not the ones who declare movies crap even before they watch it.) So short answer, probably not. 

Star Wars has grown into something more than a movie franchise. It has become a culturally significant piece of mythology/awesomess. Weapons Platforms have been named after it, entire industries have been created out of it. It is important to humanity. Thus making it a topic so many people have such heated conversations about. Is it art? Is it entertainment? Did Han shoot first? WILL THE NEW STAR WARS MOVIE BE ANY GOOD? 

Which kinda leads me to my main point of this little blog entry. Art VS. Entertainment. I'll let good ol Alejandro Jodorowsky give his point of view. (while pitching for more money, but his point is sound)

He has a point. For those of you who couldn't watch it, he is basically saying that world cinema is currently oversaturated by Hollywood cinema. Empty cinema. Escapism. And he is right. No studio, theater chain want ot risk funding or showing films that cannot guarantee box office numbers. And this is very bad in the long run. Because this is making our brains fat... Okay let me explain.

ENTERTAINMENT FILMS ARE DESERT. Sugar loaded powerfluff that help you escape the world for at least a little while, but inevitably leave you feeling just as you were going in. This is all well and good. Much like having a good slice of cake after a hearty meal or that sinful piece of chocolate you have stashed away in your pocket just in case you REALLY REALLY need it (You know who you are). 

ART FILMS ARE YOUR VEGGIES. They might not taste as good as a chocolate cake to some people, but invetibly they are good for you and help you become a stronger person. And like any true food analogy, there are people who ONLY eat veggies. Or only watch ART films. You know who you are as well. And thats fine. 

Thus I think what is happening currently with audiences is this. We are consuming too much chocolate. Yes, there is the occasional "art" film that breaks out such as Tree of Life (Great film, I don't like it, but its a great film.), but to each Tree of Life, you have 20 superhero films and Hunger Game films. We as an audiene are mentally obese in the cinematic scene. We only want the sugar. We only want to see entertainment. Yet...

Will Star Wars be any good? 

Wait what?! I hear you ask. We are not giving the time and money for films that could actually enrich us, yet our expectations for Star Wars is high, because we as an audience deserve better that the prequels. Uhm... NO WE DONT. Thats like ignoring your salad, skipping to your chocolate cake and then complain to the chef that it's making your teeth fall out.

Sometimes I think we should just remeber what entertainment films are suppose to be. PURE fun and enjoyment. They aren't the films one should start digging deeper truths or meaning out of. There is a WHOLE other genre of films, OTHER TYPE of films that are made just for that. Watch a Terrence Malick film, and start the process of thinking about what life actually means. Watch a Jodorowksy film and try and decipher what the hell is going on. Those are the films you should put effort into pouring over and consider over a glass of wine. Because they expect you to.  

Discussing the cinematic/story merrits of Star Wars is like discussing the artistic merrits of a Mcdonald's advertisement. So yeah, Star Wars isn't art. It isn't your veggies andI at least wont grow spiritually or mentally from its viewing. Simply put, it is perhaps the best damn chocolate cake in the galaxy! And I will eat the whole thing and ask for seconds, without any regrets. Because, Star Wars man. 

So lets start watching more diverse films. Lets actually put more money into art films. Be risky, go to a film festival. In many respects, those movies are cheaper to go to as well! You can't lose! Cheaper seats and a movie that might make you learn something or change you. What's so wrong with that? Diversity is a wonderful thing. Especially in entertainment. So give it a go? Make it part of your New Years resolution. Watch an art film, or a cultural film. See how you like it. Like your mama used to say, "Ya don't know if ya don't try it- Oh look an airplane!" *Shove fork into mouth.*

But I expect all of you to still go and watch Star Wars. I might be asking you to eat your veggies, but don't give up on the cake...

...Now I want cake. 

P.S. if some of you are thinking I don't like those "art" movies, cause those directors cant make awesome space shit, Jodorowsky is indirectly responsible for almost all the best scifi in Hollywood cinema. And we are not giving him any money...

TL;DR, watch more art films, because your brain is fat and needs a workout.

10 great songs written for games

Game music... Arguably some of the most endearing and annoying music to ever grace our ears. You have everything from 8 bit tunes rocking simple beats to massive orchestral scores that sweep you away into their games. Some of these themes have fallen already into legend, however these usually have all remained as melodies/ themes or tunes. Not actual songs!

In fact, it is very rare that games would even go to the lengths of making a song. Now, I know MANY games incorporate licensed songs, but very rarely do they compose their own. I actually don't know why this is, cause usually when they do, they end up being rather good! Thats why I made this list. These are all songs from games throughout the past 20 years of gaming (holy crap has it been that long?) that have had various levels of success and that I happen to quite like.


GIRL IN THE TOWER - MARK SEIBERT
(King's Quest VI - Sierra Entertainment 1992)

Back in the early 90's, adventure games were having a golden age. Sierra and Lucasarts were powerhouses, pumping out classics such as Monkey Island, Space Quest, King's Quest, Day of the Tentacle, The Dig... I could go on. And I've played them all. So as money started pouring in and CD-ROM was starting to overtake floppy disks as the desired medium for gaming, something amazing happened. VOICE acting! Yes kids, there was a time in gaming where everything was text based without a voice cast. You were lucky if you even had voice in the intro. Thus when CD's overtook floppy, there was more room to add voice dialogue. And this was huge in gaming. Basically the equivelant of hearing sound or voices in movies for the first time.

Thus along these lines some of the first songs for games started to come out, this one in particular, sticking in my mind as a WOW moment. As they added it to a voiceless floppy version of the game. Sure, the song is sappy and a love ballad that would make even the most die hard Meatloaf lover cringe. But when you first heard it in a game that was devoid of any actual voice... One could almost call it a biblical experience.

SKELETONS IN MY CLOSET - GEORGE SANGER
(The 7th Guest - Virgin Interactive 1993)

This was the game that made me really want a CD-ROM drive for my PC. It had actual actors, let alone voices! It was a strange puzzle game, filled with a creepy soundtrack and an even creepier story. A nice suprise and change of tone was at the end credits when this song started. A cool jazzy tune that tells about the game's story. Quite good production value if you ask me, and still a rarity at the time.

GONE JACKALS - LEGACY
(Full Throttle - Lucasarts 1995)

One of the rare, perfect adventure games! It had a high production value, with amazing animation and a superb voice cast! It even has Mark Hamill pulling off a proto-Joker voice as the main villain of the game. The tune itself hasn't aged very well, but when first heard, it's rock and roll roots really gave it a good groove, and it started off the game with a bang!

DUKE NUKEM THEME - MEGADETH
(Risk - Megadeth 1999)

Okay this one is a bit of an oddboy in the list. Firstly, I could not find a proper version of it on youtube, so just check it out on Spotify if you got it. Second, this is basically a cover version of the original theme of the game's main tune. Sure, it's an instrumental, theres no lyrics apart from Mustane's grunts and "yeah!"s. But still, its bloody Megadeth doing a cover of a game tune!

HOMEWORLD - YES
(Homeworld - Sierra Entertainment 1999)

What a massive hit of a game! A space RTS with a story line akin to Battlestar Galactica! It was huge! A success, but not even this powerhouse could save the waning sales of Sierra Entertainment, who closed doors after its release. In any case, it was sweeping, grand and emotional. Much like the song that began to play at the end of it by Yes! Yes, YES!! Progressive and cool, the song just takes you away on a journey through space and time as your heart aches to go back home. A powerful experience.

FOREVER - JEFF VAN DYCK
(Rome: Total War - Creative Assembly 2004)

Another great song from another great game! The Total War series has always been close to my heart! The concept of waging massive battles whilst controlling your nation always pulls at the dictator hiding in me. When this game came out, they decided to go for a more cinematic feel, with a massive sweeping soundtrack, general speeches and a song that truly feels like it belongs in a Ridley Scott movie. It is stirring, the vocals are haunting and it truly evokes the feeling of a woman lamenting her husband going off to war.

SNAKE EATER - CYNTHIA HARREL
(Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater - Konami 2004)

The Metal Gear series of games have become synonymous with high production values, story, insanity and great gameplay. So everyone was really waiting for Metal Gear Solid 3 to come out. And boy were we not disappointed! A good fifteen minutes into the game, it suddenly stops. You see your main character fall off a bridge, shot, the bad guys escape and a nuke goes off. THEN the intro credits begin with this song. Talk about a Bond beginning! Hell, this song is better than MANY an actual Bond song... Well... As long as you ignore the lyrics about eating tree frogs that is.

STILL ALIVE - ELLEN MCLAIN
(Portal - Valve 2007)

A perfect puzzle game! What started off as a demo soon evolved into a great little game that was given along with the Orange Box. A collection of Valve games that was hugely popular. But word soon got out that the ONLY reason one should get the OB was to play Portal. No matter how short it was. It was funny, creepy and really wracked your brain! But the cherry on top of the cake (see what I did there?) was this song. IT WAS A MASSIVE online hit! Cute, sweet and sung by the main villain. If anything made a psychopathic AI endearing, it is a song about looking at the postive side of life even though you were just destroyed by your arch nemesis.

FAR AWAY - JOSE GONZALES

(Red Dead Redemption - Rockstar Entertainment 2010)

Outlaws, the Old West. Scum, Villainy, a fist full of dollars and cougar hides. This is STILL my favourite Rockstar game. Perhaps one of the best western stories ever told. It is a love story and homage to what made all those Spaghetti Westerns so great. And this tune evokes all those emotions. It is haunting and sad, harkening the end of the wild west. If there is one song you SHOULD listen to on this list, it is this song.

GET JINXED - AGNETE KJOLSRUD

(League of Legends - Riot Games 2013)

I am not a League of Legends player. I get the game, but it's not for me. But holy shit does this music video really make me want to play it! It's awesome, brash, and punkish. An ode to Tank Girl. When you want to do game marketing well, this is the way you do it!

*BONUS* 

WILL THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN? - TROY BAKER & COURTNEE DRAPER

(Bioshock: Infinite - 2k Games 2013)

Just as an added bonus, I had to mention this song, because it plays a rather big part in the game since it counters the grimness and accentuates the sadness of the game itself. It is an amazing cover of an upbeat country song, turned into a sad hymn that will linger with you for a very long time, it won the award for best song in a game in 2013 and was performed by the two key voice actors. 

Thats it. My list for some great songs that have come out of games. Hope you enjoy it! See you all in the slipstream.

Shit, you're still writing?!

So you think to yourself, what the hell is he on about in that pretentious title of his? Well, let me enlighten you, my precious readers. This is the first post of a new blog of mine. "Writer of the Pre-Apocalypse," I hear you saying to yourself, then scoffing at the the screen. "Pretentious twit.". Yep, thats me!

The point is, I want to keep writing and a blog seems to be the best place for me to do so without filling up books no one will ever read. So let this first post be a hello to all of you and... A WARNING!!

This blog will be ramdomly filled with my various thoughts and musings. Film reviews, game reviews, lists of different things I find interesting, stories, anecdotes... You know... Blogger shit.

So, welcome! Enjoy your stay and don't mind the gremlins. They're mischievous, but they mean well.